


New Beginnings (I Hope)

by dreamingcreative87



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingcreative87/pseuds/dreamingcreative87
Summary: "I don't want you anymore.""I am tired of your constant whining.""Your career is already in shambles, you're useless to me anyway."" I need to find someone who is up to my level, and honey, that isn't you."These were the words that Mew kept hearing constantly. Would he be able to move on from his horrible past? Will a new person in his life be the opportunity he craved or will it be someone from his past, the one who will crumble all his defenses?Note: This was originally posted on Wattpad but I decided to have a copy on AO3 as backup, just in case!
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,
> 
> If there are some mistakes it’s because English isn’t my first language.
> 
> I don’t approve to have my work posted anywhere else! 
> 
> And something I forgot to mention is that I have a podcast regarding many BL rants I have (some Spanish screaming is included). The podcast is called Random BL Musings (I know, corny af) available on Spotify, Apple, Google, and other broadcast platforms but I hope y'all listen and enjoy it.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/show/560zrvFNycRPCOUyA1qZpm

Characters

a. Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat, 33 years old. He began acting in 2017, at the age of 26. The role he was most known for was as Pree in What The Duck: The Series. In 2019 he began acting as Tharn in Tharntype: The Series but around the Fall of 2019, he decided to retire from the entertainment business and continued his education in Engineering, achieved a Ph.D. Later on, he left the country and no one has heard from him since.

b. Gulf Kanawut Trapipattanapong, 27 years old. He began acting in 2019, at the age of 21. The role he was most known for was as Type in Tharntype: The Series. Not much is known of him since. 

c. Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai: 28 years old. He began acting in 2018, at the age of 22. The role he was most known for was as Rambo in What The Duck: The Series. After a scandal, it seems that not much of him is known when it comes to his involvement in the entertainment industry.

d. Max Trapipattanapong: The twin brother of Gulf. He was raised in the United States and had no knowledge of having a twin. He's a student in a class that Mew is assisting in. 

2\. Plot/Timeframe: The big entertainment scandal occurred in 2019, 5 years have passed and Mew is now living in the United States. He has a research position at the University of Central Florida, he is offered a teaching assistant position for one semester as a trial period. No one in his job knows about what happened back in Thailand and his acting gig, they only seem to focus on the great academics he brought with him. His bachelor's degree is from Kasetsart University, his master's and doctorate degree are from Chulalongkorn University.

3\. Disclaimer/Warning: All here presented is a work of fiction, I am in no way related to the people here mentioned. Also while there might be some people presented here that may seem "out of character" I am in no way saying that they are like this is real life (just in case people decide to bash my way of displaying a specific person). It's all fiction so I hope you enjoy it.


	2. Despair

[September 2019]

I do not want you anymore!

I am tired of your constant whining.

You know that ever since our show ended, your career has not been the same. I decided to do something and find other jobs, what have you done?

I require someone who can help me grow career-wise. Since you can no longer help me, I will not waste my time with you dear.

[Present 2024]

No matter how much time passes, the constant feeling of being used and having no concrete sense on who to trust continues to hunt Mew. Seeing those who he considered his friends turn their backs on him without being able to give them his side of the story, hurt him deeply. If he was honest, he knew that some people that were around him may have done it as a way to gain some recognition (whichever way that may be) so that did not bother him too much. On the contrary, what left a scar on his heart was seeing those who called themselves his most loyal and precious fans leaving him, giving him the cold shoulder, he would even say send threats his way all this without even knowing his side of the story, believing that he forced someone to be around him and just listening to what he had to say. He would love to assume that he is a levelheaded person, but in all honesty, Mew knew he was a deeply emotional person and if his mom wouldn't have called him that day, he wouldn't know what might've happened if he did listen to the dark thoughts that were surrounding him. 

There was truly no use for him to reminisce. As he once heard, there was no use thinking too much about the past since there's nothing that could be done to change it. Instead, one should focus on the lessons it brought you and appreciate the second choices life gives you. Focusing now in the present, Mew begins thinking about what it is that he needs to do before his meeting. He was recently offered a position as a teaching assistant in a university located in Florida. While his degree specialized in engineering, he needed an excuse to get out of the house and socialize. In the five years he's been abroad he only made one true friend, Jessica, who offered the position to him as a way to get him out of the house and look less dead to the general public. Another reason as to why she offered the position to Mew was that while the semester was close to ending in 4 weeks, her pregnancy was affecting her manner of working and she decided that for her and her students benefit there would still be lectures (hence Mew) yet they could contact and/or submit assignments outside of the classroom. Jessica assured Mew that this would be an easy enough job to keep his brain functioning and a way in which he could get some money on the side, and so he took it. He needed to meet with her now, in her office since it was her last day on campus and she wanted to make sure everything was set up nicely to make everyone's lives better.

As Mew walked around the campus he noticed that everything seemed lively, it was extremely sunny outside, the birds seem to chirp and even the students were laying around enjoying the sun. He saw everyone being extremely happy (which might be attributed to the fact that the semester is close to being done and over with) but he could not join in on the fun. It may have been the fact that he woke up with his voice as a constant reminder that he would never be good enough, it may have been that he was missing home too much (he talked to his parents and sister daily, always seeing how his baby Chopper was doing) or the fact that seeing everyone being extremely happy with how their life was going made him sick to his stomach by bringing about a sense of inferiority. He knew that it was stupid to worry about aspects that either did not or will not happen in the future, but there were times that his anxiety took over him and this was one of those times.

He could not give too much thought as to the mess that was going on in his brain since it appears that he did not notice where he was walking and he managed to bump into someone making them trip and take a step back as to balance themselves. He was going to open his mouth to apologize but a female voice beat him to it;

-Gosh Max, look where it is you are going next time! I apologize for my clumsy friend over here, we would stick around to talk but we are really late for our lecture so see you around stranger!

Mew wasn't given a chance to speak with how fast she said all that (did she even take a second to breathe?) For some reason he was compelled to look back and all he saw were the backs of a female who seemed to be around 5 feet with a bright yellow backpack who seemed to be talking animately about something if her swinging arms were an indication of her excitement. There was a young guy next to her, he was rather chill, listening and nodding in the correct times yet obviously paying attention to what was being said by his companion. He seemed to stand about Mew's own height but that is to be debated if he were honest. He halted his thoughts when he looked at the clock next to him, oh crap! He was five minutes late, Jessica was going to kill him! He ran as fast as he could and reached her office in record time, he composed himself and knocked on the door. From inside he heard a voice saying;

-Hey Mew, c'mon in. I am going to make it quick since we need to head up to my lecture hall but just know it is a simple task, I will let my students know what will happen with the remaining five weeks of the course. It is a creative writing course, I am sorry that your mathematics brain will not get that stimulated compared to what it is you studied for. I decided to leave my classroom open since I know that there are students that go into my class to relax and take a breather, I will make it so that they give you a physical copy of the ten remaining due assignments but to submit it online so I can read and review them. In short, I (the university) is paying you too look pretty and answer questions if my students have any doubts.

-That's nice to know. Am I able to work on my own things during lecture time?

-Of course, you can even write a book or listen to music, just be sure to make my students know that if they have any questions they can come to you.

-Will do.

-Well then, let's get going because this belly makes everything harder than it needs to be. I wish I could just take my child out but my doctor said it would be irresponsible of me if I do something crazy, that is why he recommended that I take these last five weeks easy and do remote teaching.

-That is nice of them.

Without Mew noticing they have reached the lecture hall, as he was about to open the door he heard a loud voice coming from inside saying;

-If I knew the teacher was a no-show I would have kept sleeping in the comfortable place I found myself.

-This kid again, I swear he is God's way of testing me and seeing how much patience I will have in the future for my own kid.

-Is that student troublesome?-In a way Mew was worried he would have constant clashes with the student, he was not a man of confrontation (all his past relationships can attest to the fact).

-Not too much, he gets good grades but he loves to be anywhere else but in the classroom. Let's go inside so I can tell my students what will happen from now on.

Mew goes on to open the door and allows Jessica to walk in first. As soon as she did so, she sat down in a desk that was conveniently placed in the farther corner of the classroom, right next to some windows.

-Good afternoon class, I know I am a tiny bit behind and I do apologize but as you may have noticed, my belly is making many things difficult which brings about today's topic. My doctor has given me notice that I should take it easy these following weeks, which means that I will be out for the remainder of the semester. Now all the remaining modules and lectures I made available online which means that if you want you do not have to come to lectures anymore since I have given you all the material. What I do need from you guys is for you to hand in a physical copy of your assignments in or before the due date, as you were doing before but instead of giving them to me personally, you will hand them in to Mew, who will now be the teaching assistant. Come introduce yourself, please.

Mew was extremely awkward when it came to socializing so he made it as quick as he could.

-Hello, nice to meet you all, my name is Mew. I hope we get along well. As your professor stated, I am here to help you all, any doubts you have, you can come to me and I will be able to help.

He heard a high-pitch voice shrill in the background and ask,

-Are you single by any chance?- Mew was extremely shocked by the question but before he could even respond, a voice interjected (his face Mew could not distinct since he had a hood on) and said;

-Sarah, please stop with your whorish ways, believe me when I tell you that if the teacher assistant knew you ran around the whole school jumping from dick to dick he would run fast away from you.

The whole class stood quite, the lady (who Mew is guessing is this famous Sarah had her mouth agape), she began to respond to the verbal attack:

-Listen here you fr-

-Stop! I will not tolerate any type of disrespectful behavior. Sarah, that was a question which in no way have anything to do with what we were talking about. Max, I understand that your way of speaking is always with good intentions but that was no way of going about it. Leaving that incident behind us, I will pass rollcall so that way Mew gets to know your faces a bit more. Just say present when I call your name.

At this point Mew kind of zoned out. Sarah's question shocked him, not only because it reminded him of a time where he would get those types of questions 24/7 but also, it made him realize that he was alone. He had no family or friends living with him, he has not dated in about 5 years and he is not one to have one-night-stands just for the hell of it! For some reason, something in his peripheral vision caught his attention. It was once again the student in the hoodie. Right at that moment, Jessica decided to speak up.

-Max, can you please take off your hoodie?

-I kinda don't want to miss.

-I have told you previously to address me as professor.

-I remember tell you that I would do it once you could pronounce my last name, which is something this whole damn university has been unable to do since day one.

-Max please, not this again.

-Take it or leave it miss. This is your last chance to try since you just said you'll be leaving us for the next few weeks.

Mew wanted to see what was so special about his last name. He knew that it was difficult for people to pronounce his last name, which is why when he moved to America he told everyone to simply call him Mew, as it was easier for them to say and to write. He took a stand next to Jessica so he could see the paper when he did he felt his blood run cold. This could not be possible.

-Max Traipipattanapong?

-Ding ding ding, we got a winner. Now our dear teacher assistant has the ability to say my last name, what should I call you? Should I go by teacher, teacher assistant Mew or who knows maybe you are kinky enough and you want us to call you something else?

Mew could hear a voice in the background but he was frozen, he couldn't even hear his thoughts. All he could hear and feel was his heart beating so fast he believed that it would jump out of his chest and run away. He was unable to respond, Jessica saw this and did it for him.

-Max that's enough! You can call him Mew, just that. Well, class seeing as there is nothing new and I made this hour so I could give you the announcement and help you all in anything you need before I left. If there is nothing you need to talk about with me, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your semester. Do not forget to email me if you have any doubts and do time your assignments accordingly.

Jessica then turns to Mew (who was still frozen in shock by that last name he just heard himself pronounce after five years).

-I think there's nothing more for you to do since this is the only class I have for today. Please come by my house or text me if you have any questions.

-Will do. -Those were the only words Mew was able to mutter.

As he walked by to his car to calm himself down before he had a breakdown in public he couldn't help but mutter the same last name over and over again.

Traipipattanapong

Traipipattanapong

Traipipattanapong

Why is he being hunted all over again by his past?


	3. Doubts

Mew was not able to understand how it is that he continues to be hunted by his past. Should he avoid his student? Should he speak directly and ask if he has any relation to his former coworker, Gulf Trapipattanapong? He truly does not know what to do, on one hand, he wants to leave his past where it is and not cause himself any more headaches. Yet, he knows curiosity killed the cat and he wants to know why fate continues to fuck with him. He feels that if he speaks to someone that hasn't been so involved with the whole mess that is his love life and his internal aches, he could gain some new perspectives. He decided to call his mom since they have not spoken in a few days. 

After a couple of minutes of the phone ringing, Mew's mom answered the video call and she instantly knows that something is wrong with her boy. 

-Hey darling, how are you?  
How could he explain what was going on in his brain without crying?  
-Hey mom, I'm okay!  
-Boy, you and I know that's a lie so tell me what's wrong.  
He knew he didn't want to worry her yet she was extremely persistent.   
-I'm just a little stressed ma! Today I started the substitute position I told you about.  
-Okay, that's good! How was it?   
-It went well, there's not much for me to do really. I'm sure Jessica gave me the job out of pity.  
-Are they paying you!?- He knew that she would raise hell if he was being taken advantage of.   
-Of course mom!  
-So what you're saying is that they are paying you to look pretty behind a desk.- She couldn't help but laugh from her explanation and Mew couldn't either since it made sense how ridiculous she made it seem.   
-You're so wise ma! Now, how's my favorite person in the whole world?  
-Your sister is out on a date/business meeting.  
-Which one is it, a date or a meeting?  
-Both? None? I'm not sure, it's up to her to decide.  
-Fair enough. I was talking about Chopper though! -You're always so mischievous son!  
-I got it from my parents.  
-Lord, don't let your dad hear that!  
-How is he doing? Is he well?  
-You know how he is, as strong as a rock and as stubborn as a mule! Finding new things to do around the house and he is driving me nuts!  
-Yet you still love him.   
-You are correct!  
-And my baby Chopper, how is he?  
-Like your dad, well and stubborn. Always missing you but we show him pictures and after a while, he gets better.  
-I'll do a video call later to talk to him!  
-You do that.  
-I miss you all so much but you know how life is.  
-Of course I know it, I gave you life and for that reason alone I know that there is something that is still bothering you and something you are not telling me.

Mew knew that he had to tell her. But he was not going to expose his whole truth, yet.

-It's just that when I saw the students I'll be dealing with these upcoming weeks I could not help but feel a sense of nostalgia.  
-And that's normal hun! But, is that the only thing bothering you?  
-I'm wondering if one should meddle with the past and fate.  
-It all depends son.  
-On what?"  
-Will you be the one hurt at the end?  
-I'm not sure.  
-Then before you do anything, you should figure that out and see if it's all worth it.  
-Okay mom, you are right.  
-Before you go, son, know that we are here for you. If you ever need to talk, even if it is 3 AM, you can speak to us.  
-Same to you, thanks, mom. Send all my love please.  
-Will do. I love you so much, son.

After a couple of minutes of debating if he should go and stir up the past, he decided he was too curious for his good. He went ahead and searched the name he is neither thought about or muttered in nearly 5 years. He looked for Gulf's name on Instagram but could not find him! Who knows, maybe he decided to erase his social media, he knew first hand how relieving it felt. Erasing all trace of appearing on the internet and having the capability of not having everyone either compare you to others or pressure you to be something that you are not pure, sweet freedom, he would dare compare it to tasting cotton candy or the richest chocolate that Europe has to offer. Before he could dig too deep and cause himself any more pain he decided to erase everything so as not to fall under temptation. From that point on he decided as to how he would deal with his student, he decided that the best course of action would be to deal with him in a strictly professional and civil manner. Even if he, for some odd reason, shared the last name of who he could consider being his last true love, he would not fall for it again. He refused to be hurt once more by being a fool, just plain stupid and even worse, blind by his heart and emotions.


	4. Nostalgia

Oh dear, you truly believe you can forget me.

Didn't you always say that you gave your all for your partners?

You always gave away so much of yourself, what is left behind now that you're alone?

Mew woke up in a cold sweat, he knew that reminiscing about his ex-partners would be a bad idea but he needed someone to talk to and his sister was there for him.

*3 hours ago*

-Hey brother, how are you? Mom told me you called but I was away.  
-Oh yeah, she told me that you were in a meeting/date! So, which one was it?  
-I'm not too sure yet if I'm honest but I'll let you know. Now, what's going on, I saw that mom was worried about you but you wouldn't tell her why.  
-I did not want to worry yo all, it's just so stupid!  
-Why don't you tell me what's happening in your life and I'll tell you if its stupid or not!

Mew knew that what his sister was saying is extremely logical, yet he couldn't help but be afraid. Was he that needy for companionship that he was attempting to build some sort of relationship with a kid that is supposed to be his student for the next couple of weeks? Would he be able to tell his sister all his feelings without appearing as needy and crazy?

Jom knew something was wrong with her older brother, this made her extremely worried because the last time he saw him like this was when the scandal broke out in 2019. It made her sad that during that time he couldn't do much in terms of defending and protecting him, after that she promised herself that if he ever saw that look of loneliness on her brother's eyes that she would do something about it even if she had to fly out halfway across the world!

-Mew, you might be my older brother and you're supposed to be the one to protect me but I want to do the same to you. I want you to trust me enough and tell me what's going on in your life.  
-I know, I know. It's just difficult to vocalize my emotions.  
-Just take your time.

After a couple of minutes of silence between the siblings, Mew could hear the distinct barking of his son Chopper. Oh, how he missed his boy!

-Chopper boy, come here!

He knew his son was entering a rather advanced age, even at the age of 12 years old, his boy would still attempt to run around joyously, trying to demonstrate his love for his father. As soon as he saw Chopper's little body appear on his phone screen, sitting down in his sister's arms he couldn't help but be extremely happy for seeing him so well and happy. He could tell he had eaten something since he had crumbs of what looked like bread along his mouth.

-Dad has been giving him bread again, hasn't he?   
-What do you mean?  
-Look at his mouth!  
-Oh gosh, dad how many times do I need to tell you not to give Chopper bread! He's fat as it is c'mon.

Mew couldn't help but be somewhat insulted for his son.

-He isn't fat, he's full of love and wishes.  
-Aha, you wish!

After a couple of minutes of bickering between the siblings, Jom decided that it was time to know what was affecting Mew she would get to the bottom of the issue.

-Mew, are you able to talk to me now?  
-It's just a long and tragic moment in my life, it is not even that interesting, to begin with.  
-I care about you and this is affecting you so now, tell me and don't try to distract me!

Mew went ahead and told her how, ever since he accepted the job of a substitute teacher, it seemed that his horrible love life continues to hunt him. Every turn he takes it seems that everyone is happy and has someone to fall back on while he has no one. That he is so sure he's become so damn needy that he mistook a student of his for being similar to an ex-costar of his.

-Who is that co-star brother?-At this point, Jom was extremely worried his brother would fall back and say the name of the man who broke his heart.  
-Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong.

Silence permeated the room and at that point, Mew realized he screwed up by opening up to someone. He wanted to leave with his dignity somewhat intact so he lied to his sister stating that he had to go.

-Jom, I'm sorry I have to go. I'll talk to you later.

Mew knew from her facial expressions that she did not believe him, yet she wasn't going to stop him from going. She knew it was a touchy subject and that he needed a break to compose himself.

-Ok, please call me later or whenever you need to talk. Remember to always rest and eat well, I'll send you pictures of your son and go scold dad for giving him bread.  
-Even if you scold him, he's going to do it again, he loves spoiling his grandchild.  
-Well, he's going to want to stop because soon enough your son is going to be rolling around instead of walking!  
-See if you can make it stop but I doubt it will happen anytime soon. Talk to you later, love you guys so much, give mom and dad a hug for me, please.

-Will do brother.-As soon as Jom ended the call Mew stopped smiling. He couldn't help feeling drained after that call. He knows his family is looking out for him but he wants to be able to deal with the issues before he drags someone else into his mess. If he was in another time he would have taken smoking a cigarette or drinking a glass of wine to call himself but he decided it was best to sleep and get rid of the horrible feelings that plague him.

*Present*

After waking up from his most recent batch of hunting memories and noticed that it was only 5 AM (on a day he did not need to go to the university) he decided to go to the local convenience store and get some simple groceries that he was missing and maybe some snacks since he knew that it was going to be one of those days where he would spend it on the bed and crying over shows and films he would find on any streaming platform. It was either that or cry over musicals and he did that already, last week that is. He makes sure that he has his phone, wallet, and keys before he leaves his apartment and locks the door. It was still dark and the silence was prominent as he walked to the convenience store 5 minutes away by foot. As he walked in gravel, bored and an extremely tired voice said;

-Please note that we are about to close in 10 minutes so make it quick.

That shocked Mew since he was costumed to stores that would open late at night and remain the rest of the night and well into the day open, but who is he to judge. He knows that the cashier is looking at him so he better make this quick! He went ahead and picked up some juice, tea, cheese, ramen, coffee, snacks, and ice cream with the superior flavor which is obviously mint chocolate chip. To him, vanilla is rather plain and chocolate is something he eats once in a while. After seeing that he had everything he wanted on his basket he went ahead to pay and this is when he noticed who was the one who spoke to him when he entered.

-MAX!?

-Oh jolly if it isn't perfect substitute teacher Mew. It's rather shocking to see you here and at this time, are you doing the walk of shame back to your place?

For some reason Max's smug tone made his blood boil. He hated how Max thought he had him all figured out, he was a brat, and oh god the last time someone was a brat to him (and he lowkey enjoyed) it turned out to be the carbon copy of the person standing right in front of him. He was about to reply when they heard rapid steps approaching the store and yanking the door wide open;

-This is a robbery, you two better shut the hell up and give me all the money that is locked away on the cash register and whatever money y'all have on yourselves.

-Well fuck me!- Mew and Max couldn't help but retort at the same time. They really had some crappy ass luck, don't they?


	5. Lockdown

Mew knew he had shit luck based on his love life but to be stuck in a convenience store with the student he is actively attempting to avoid, as part of a robbery, really demonstrates how low his life has become. It seems that while he was going through the motions of getting his pockets emptied, Max kept harassing and talking to the man. Mew could see that he was at wit's end and by the shakiness of his hand, he would not hesitate to shoot if he perceived he was being threatened or made fun off.

-Hey, my name is Mew. I can help you get out of here but you have to talk to me and promise you are not going to shoot us.  
-Wow, our substitute teacher is an idiot.  
-Max can you have some sort of survival skills and shut the hell up!?- At this point, Max must have noticed the seriousness of the situation and he decided to shut up.

Mew turned around, looking at the assailant and spoke to him as if he was speaking to a frightened and in a way he is, yet he couldn't show that he was afraid for his life.

-Would you be able to tell me your name?  
-As if I were to fall for that cheap trick and tell you my name.  
-We are not here to hurt you, on the contrary, if there is any way in which we can help you get whatever is it that you need and for us to go on our merry way then we are set!

The assailant stood there thinking about Mew's proposal and while he was doing that Mew decided to check how Max was doing since he hasn't heard him say anything for a few minutes. When he found Max he saw him sitting down on the dirty floor, his face is extremely pale and his hands seem to be clammy and shaking.

-Oh fuck, Max! Talk to me, buddy!- Mew keeps slapping his face lightly as to get him to react but nothing seems to work. At one point he closes his eyes as if he was unconscious and this throws the remaining two people at the store in a frenzy.   
-Assailant dude, I don't know your name but get me some water and some nuts or whatever you can find.   
-Ash.   
-What!?-Mew was running out of patience and he wasn't about to deal with one-worded answers when he had a student of his passed out in his arms.   
-My name is Ash. I guess I owe you both that for all the problems that I've caused you.   
-Great, just get me what I asked of you, quickly!

Mew felt years had passed while waiting for Max to respond. He couldn't help but feel guilty if he hadn't told Max to stay quiet if he hadn't focused too much on Ash and checked in with him once in a while he wouldn't be in this position.

-Max, please wake up. I am not prepared to go through all this pain and guilt all over again!- Mew couldn't but shake him but it must have been rather forcefully because Max groaned and started squirming.  
-Dude stop fucking shaking me, you're giving me a headache!

As soon as Mew was about to answer Ash came running with some apple juice and a piece of toast.

-Don't worry, I put some money on top of the cash register to pay for these two things. Please tell me you aren't allergic to apples because I already opened it.  
-Yeah, I'm good with apple juice, don't worry about it.  
-Are you okay now?  
-Yeah, I just felt rather shaky and I think it because I forgot to eat a full meal.  
-You work on a damn convenience store but forget to eat? The irony of life to be honest.

While all of this was going on, Mew couldn't help but stay quiet and contemplating his emotions. Did he compare the possibility of Max not being well to the heartbreak that he experiences with Tul and his lost "relationship/crush" with Gulf?!

...

He's truly fucked!

When he came to, he noticed that Ash and Max were talking;

-Dude are you still planning to rob us?- Max didn't know how to be somewhat tactful when it came to other people's feelings!  
-I'm sorry about that man, I must admit I wasn't in the best state of mind. I got laid of my work recently, classes and the university has been rather stressful and I was extremely hungry.  
-What university do you go to?  
-UCF  
-Same! I haven't seen you around, I study creative writing and literature. What about you?  
-Political sciences and history.  
-Dude that explains it, you studying the fancy and complicated shit.  
-Yeah, it has been difficult but hopefully, I'll graduate this year!  
-I'm sure you'll do it. Well, the quiet dude over there is our wonderful substitute teacher Mew. Don't pay him any mind, he takes time to join the land of the living.  
-Max, I'm sorry for causing you both so much stress and for you to pass out. If you want to call the police and press charges I'll understand!  
-No dude, we good! I'll do you one even better, why don't you leave your name and number, I'll speak with my boss and I'll see if he can get you a spot. It won't be as if you were swimming in a bunch of money but it can help you pay some bills and pay the groceries.  
-Are you serious? I caused you to pass out and you're willing to get me a job.  
-Kid, I get how it is to freak out and think you are drowning 24/7, if I can help someone I'll try my best.

After a couple of minutes, Ash and Max exchanged details. At some point, Mew stood up and he was seating near the duo. Before he could say he was leaving Ash came up to him and said:

-Dude, I am sorry for making your evening go downhill. I promise it wasn't my intention to do this but as I already told Max, I was freaking out and this was the best idea I could come up with (in hindsight it wasn't my best option).  
-Don't worry, if you want I can give you my phone number and if you ever need to talk I'll be here for you.  
-You two are amazing people. Thank you both so much for giving me an opportunity.

After a couple more minutes of talking, exchanging details, and some awkward hugging, Ash left (with a bounce of his step) leaving Mew and Max alone on the store. Something possessed Mew to say:

-Why don't you come to my house?  
-The fuck?- Mew could tell, without looking at Max that he was a mixture of pissed and shock.  
-Please don't misunderstand me, I truly am worried that you'll pass out. I have some decent food at my house, eat, maybe rest a while and then you can go. Its the weekend so I won't be doing much but if you don't feel comfortable being alone with me I can leave while you rest or I can drop you off close to your house.

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence Max replied;

-I guess I can eat a little bit.  
-Sure, I'll let you close up the store. I'll be outside.   
-Thanks.

After a couple of awkward shuffling Max came out and closed the front door. Once he checked that all the locks were in place, he turned around and stared at Mew.

-Well sir, lead the way!


	6. Apartment

Mew's brain is racing a mile per minute. Why the hell did he say that he would make his relationship (not that there's anything between them gosh) completely civil, forget his damn promise, and then invite him to his apartment? He truly is an idiot! He couldn't go back on his word, he was worried for Max but he doesn't want any misunderstanding to arise. It appears that while he was having his existential crisis, they had reached his apartment. As they went up the stairs, Mew couldn't help but give him a pep talk before they went inside.

-I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with coming up to my apartment. If at any point you feel uncomfortable by me being in your space, I can pay for an Uber or taxi to bring you home.  
-You've already said it multiple times. Believe me when I tell you that if I was uncomfortable with your presence I wouldn't be here!  
-I just wanted to make sure, you know?  
-I guess.  
-Also sorry for the mess you might see at my apartment.  
-Mhm.

After a couple more minutes of walking, they reached the door and Mew went on to unlock it. As soon as he opened it, Max couldn't help but shout in amazement.

-Holy shit dude, this is what you call a messy and humble abode!?  
-I guess.- Max could tell Mew was getting embarrassed so he decided to drop the topic.   
-I am so hungry I could eat a whole horse!  
-I can make you something simple since its early. Would you like some porridge or eggs and bacon?  
-Eggs and bacon sound good.  
-Which way do you want it?  
-Huh?!- Mew could tell Max was shocked by his question, took him a couple of minutes to realize what was wrong with his question. It appears that Max believed he had just done a double entendre.  
-Your eggs, how would you like them?  
\- Scrambled is good, thanks.  
-Make yourself at home please, I'll call you when the food is ready.

While Mew was busy completing breakfast, Max decided to look around and get a feel for how his teacher was in his private life. He could tell he was rather a simplistic and minimalist person. It was a cozy apartment but it didn't have that sense of "home". To Max, this place seemed like a simple place to eat, rest, and pick up his clothes. Few photos around the house showed what appeared to be Mew's family and a dog but it didn't appear that he had much of social life. Before Max could wander too much as to the private life of his substitute teacher, he got called up to eat. When he entered the kitchen he was amazed by all the food that was put in display on the table. What caught his eye was a ray of sunlight that seemed to hit Mew just right and Max couldn't deny that his teacher was rather good looking (even if at times he was rather annoying).

-I hope you enjoy your breakfast, it seems rather simplistic but I am sure it will me rather flavourful.   
-Thanks again for doing all this.  
-It is the least I could do, honestly. I feel that it is my fault that you passed out at the store. If I hadn't been so focused on paying attention to Ash I could have noticed something was wrong with you.  
-You saved our asses, I should be the one thanking you! I felt rather nervous and my usual way of dealing with stress is to be a sarcastic asshole. I should apologize for putting our lives at risk in the beginning.  
-No worries, please eat. That way you'll feel better soon.

They continued to eat in rather comfortable silence as if they had spent previous time together. Both were afraid of breaking the comfortable atmosphere they had around them yet it would be rather awkward to just keep staring at their faces the rest of the morning. Max wanted to know more about his teacher yet he did not know where to begin.

-Mew, would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?  
-With what purpose if you don't mind me asking?- Mew couldn't help but feel rather nervous about the possible line of questioning that he could be presented with.  
-I will answer the questions I comfortable with. The ones I choose not to answer I will simply say "pass". Are you okay with that?  
-Absolutely, you can ask some questions if you like as long as you feel comfortable.  
-Sure. You can go ahead and start with your questions.  
-The most obvious to me would be, how did you know how to pronounce my last name? My name has given me hell throughout my school life and it is the first time I saw someone capable of not shaming my ancestors with their insipid way of talking and learning other cultures.  
-You did not need to shame people that bad, c'mon. People oftentimes try to learn but it is somewhat difficult to pronounce things appropriately. In regards to your question, I know Thai and I know how it is that people are not able to pronounce your name properly.  
-How did you learn Thai?  
-Well, it would be rather embarrassing for me to be Thai, be born and raised in Thailand, and not know the language.  
-Excuse me, you are what?!  
-I was born and raised in Thailand?  
-Dude, you must be joking!  
-Nope, I can show you my birth certificate if you want proof. Now I can ask that same question to you, your last name is Thai, were you born and raised there?  
-Born there yeah, raised not so much. I was adopted very early on by a very kind, American family, and ever since I had memory they've been all I got.  
-They sound like they are amazing people.  
-They are! I thank them every day for adopting me even if at times I was rather temperamental.  
-Have you ever wondered about your biological family?  
-Not really if I'm being honest. I'm grateful for my biological mother for bringing me into this world yet I have no real need to get the answer of questions such as "why did you give me up?", "where was the place you left me at?" or "do I have any other family members alive?" That's enough about me, what can you tell me about your family?  
-It seems that these are questions that continue to hunt you, the best answer I can give you is to follow whatever you feel your heart dictates. You can either continue the amazing life that your parents gave you but having that doubt in your mind or you can gather courage and get the answers to the questions you have. Regarding my family I have my amazing parents, my lovely get an annoying younger sister and the light of my life, my dear son Chopper. He has a couple of years under his belt but I continue to treat him as my baby!- Mew wanted to ask if there was any chance of Max being related to Gulf but he knew that it was a rather touchy subject and he wasn't as keen of opening that can of worms related to his disastrous love life.   
-I saw a couple of pictures of your family and dog. Honestly, I believed you were a cats sort of guy, I rather prefer cats they aren't as high maintenance. I have a cat and I named them Juul, they are amazing and it has been very few times they have tried to kill me when I accidentally stepped on them. -It appeared that Max was to say something else yet a yawn won. Mew looked at the time and noticed it was already 8 AM, Max had a rather trying night shift and the least Mew could do was offer his couch so that he could take a nap.   
-I apologize, I've kept you awake for something stupid. Would you like to take the couch, take a short nap, and then I could take you home?   
-You should stop apologizing for occurrences that are not under your control! It was a nice chat, it's amazing to get to know someone who shares some cultural similarities. That way I don't feel like the odd man out. I'll take you up on your offer of sleeping on your boogie couch.   
-Let me get you a couple of blankets and a pillow, I know a leather couch isn't always the best to sleep at.

Mew went to go pick up some blankets at the designated closet. He needed a couple of minutes away from Max, not only could he feel his heartbeat run a hundred miles a minute regarding his questions but he needed to step away as a way to avoid any entanglements. Underneath it, all Max was an amazing and responsible kid, yet Mew knew he couldn't get attached. When he went back to his living room he noted that Max had already fallen asleep and so he went to cover him with a blanket. He couldn't help himself from saying out loud his amazement at having the carbon copy of the person that at one point in time made him feel young at heart again once again invade his life at the most unexpected time.

-Not only do you remind me so much of Gulf by being a carbon copy of him, but you also make me think of the "what if's"! What could have happened if we had met under other circumstances if I told him how I felt or if I had not escaped from Thailand like a coward? My promise to you Max is to treat you right, to treat you like a student should be treated, and to extend a helping hand if you ever need one. I won't let you get caught up in my emotional turmoil, the one which continues to haunt me to this day.

After Mew completed his confession he decided to go out and run some errands to pass his time and not bother his sleeping guest. He gathered his wallet, keys, and even left a note to let Max know he would come back. He proceeded to lock the door and make sure it stayed locked. What he should have truly done is checked that his guest was truly asleep, if he had entered the room he could have seen Max's eyes wide open and the only emotion running through them is a shock.

I need to understand what it is Mew is hiding and who this Gulf dude is.


	7. Interrogation

Max didn't really know how to approach the subject without sounding like a jackass. He couldn't get Mew's words out of his head, the fact that he said, not only do you remind me so much of Gulf by being a carbon copy of him, but you also make me think of the "what if's"! That makes Max feel a certain type of way, and not all in a positive manner if he was honest. Is Mew willing to spend time with him because he truly wants to or is it because he reminds him of someone else? He doesn't want any scraps, thank you very much! Before he could go too deep into his rant he noticed that a door was opening, it would be stupid of him to pretend to still be asleep so he decided to fold the sheets he was given. That's how Mew caught him.

-Hey, are you feeling well-rested?  
-Thankfully I am, honestly, that's the best sleep I've gotten in weeks.  
-The fact that you are highly praising a simple couch has me extremely worried about your sleeping arrangements.  
-Dude, that isn't a "simple couch" its an extremely comfortable and wide enough couch that permits a 6-foot man to sleep the best they've ever slept.  
-I'll send my praises to the couch company. Do you want anything to eat and/or drink?  
-Is there a bubble tea place nearby? I've been craving some bomb ass tea for days!  
-I'm pretty sure they have a bubble tea place nearby that serves their drinks on lightbulbs?  
-On what!?  
-I'm pretty sure they are plastic containers shaped as lightbulbs but their whole aesthetic is cute I guess.   
-You had me hooked with the whole lightbulb aesthetic so let's go!

After a small ride on Uber (which for fucks sake the app charged $30, Mew could have had a whole damn meal with that $) they reached the cute cafe. They saw the line was long but there was a hostess, they decided to ask her how long was the waiting time.

-Hey guys, welcome to our cafe, is this your first time here?  
-Yes.  
-Will there only be two of you?   
-Yes  
-There's a small table in the back, will that be okay?-At this point, Mew looked at Max to make sure he was comfortable with that option and Max agreed.  
-Please lead the way.

The hostess took them both to a small, lowly lit corner. Mew was somewhat afraid that the atmosphere would scare away Max but he seemed to be fine.

-Your server will be right with you, hope you enjoy your meal!  
-Thank you!

Silence covered the table while they were looking over the menu. Mew decided he would get a muffin and a milk tea since they appear to be the house's specialty, Max, on the other hand, couldn't pick what to eat.

-I honestly don't know what to eat. Should I be a glutton and eat a whole sandwich by myself or should I go lighter?  
-Pick whatever your heart desires, you can pick the sandwich and take it home if you get full. I would hate for you to go hungry just because you were shy.- It appears that those words were the appropriate ones since not only did a slight blush appeared on Max's cheeks but he also made a happy noise and proceeded to swing his legs (the seat appears to be too high for him to properly place his feet) without a single care in the world. For just a quick second that image transported Mew to the time Gulf would make the same movements and it made him extremely emotional. Max could tell Mew wasn't okay by his eyes getting extremely watery,

-Is everything okay?

Before Mew could answer a waiter appeared out of nowhere and Max could tell that not only was he extremely hyper but he seemed to be extremely focused on Mew.

-Welcome to our cafe, my name is Jason and I'll be your waiter this afternoon. What would you like to order sir?  
-I would like a lemon muffin and milk tea?  
-Of course, would you like for your muffin to be warmed up and your milk tea in our special mugs which is in the shape of a lightbulb?  
-Sure.  
-I'll get that order right up!

The waiter appeared to walk towards the kitchen counter and that extreme bothered Max!

-Umm excuse me, I would also like to order!?  
-I apologize, sir, what would you like?- Max could tell the apology was extremely insincere and he was getting extremely aggrieved. One more and one of two things would occur, the waiter would get docked in the face or Max would start acting bitchy and he didn't want to do that right in front of Mew!  
-I will go ahead and order the same my dear ordered, but can you also add a bacon, ham, cheese, and egg sandwich?  
-Would you like the muffin warm and the sandwich toasted?-Jason's voice showed his embarrassment clearly and some sick twisted part of Max enjoyed it even if he didn't know why!  
-Perfect, that would be all!  
-The order will be right out.

Max was so focused on interaction with Jason that he completely forgot Mew was there, when he turned around he saw a small smirk decorating Mew's face. He was now extremely embarrassed because he tried to appear mature and he completely failed at it.

-Are you happy with your order?  
-I decided gluttony would win this round!  
-It appears that gluttony won in more ways than one.   
-What do you mean?  
-Never mind.

Minutes passed and Jason came back with their order. This time he kept his interactions to a minimum and Mew would be lying if he said he wasn't happy for the outcome. He could tell that the waiter was extremely "caring" for lack of a better term and he felt extremely uncomfortable.

-So Mew, last night we couldn't continue with the questions since I went to sleep. Would it be if I continue with the interrogation?  
-Sure, and know that the same stipulation applies. If there's a question either of us doesn't want to answer we can say "pass" and we'll avoid the topic completely. Do you want to go ahead with your first question?  
-Is there someone or something you missed from back home?  
-I mean in terms of food I'm all set. I talk to my family almost daily and I barely kept contact with some acquaintances after I finished my degree. What about you, do you have a "tight" group of friends?  
-Now that I remember I bumped into you your first day at the university. Well, the girl you saw me having out with is who I consider my one and true best friend! She's amazing, she's been with me since elementary school, she saw my emo phase and she stayed years after.   
-You had an emo or goth phase!? I don't know why but I don't see it.   
-My dude we all had a goth and or emo phase! Even if you say you didn't, you lying!  
-Your favorite band?  
-I had a ton that I continue to listen to, just last night I was listening to Tokio Hotel. If you've never heard of them please do because your life will change, some people criticize them for "changing them image" or not being "emo enough" but honestly their change from angst teenagers to disco/pop to me shows their growth and development. I would have been extremely dissatisfied and disappointed if they continued to sing about their 13-year-old's problems.   
-You seem to be passionate about the topic.   
-Well yeah, it just gets me heated that there are people that dislike the idea of bands changing like this band has been in the business for more than a decade so of course change is inevitable! Well enough about me, I want to ask you something but I'm not sure how you'll take it?  
-Ask and I'll decide if I want to answer.   
-Who's Gulf and why is he so important?

A silence permeated the table, before any of the two could answer a third voice interrupted,

-Mew, what are you doing here? Wait, Max what are you doing here?  
-Jessica, what are you doing here?!

They both knew they had to explain themselves before the situation begins to tangle itself up but they weren't sure how!?


	8. Cafe

How the hell could Max and Mew explain to Jessica the reason for their meeting without making it seem extremely weird and/or worrisome? 

\- Funny meeting you both here to be honest?  
\- Yes, super funny. How are your free days? Is your pregnant belly treating you right?- Mew hoped that if he distracted her enough she wouldn't continue with her thread of thought.  
\- So far the baby has been extremely nice, of course outside of the first trimester. Those first three months were pure hell, so much nausea I felt I dropped half of my weight. My free days are somewhat cathartic yet boring, sometimes I miss your class Max but not having to grade papers 24/7 is extremely liberating.  
\- I believe you since I know how liberating it is to finish all college classes and not having to respond to homework 24/7.  
-Max respect Jessca.- Mew wanted to laugh since he understood the sentiment of liberation once one stopped drowning in all the homework and anxiety college brought yet he couldn't demonstrate his agreeance in front of Jessica.  
\- I am respectful! If we are to be technical you are now my teacher so I should be hella respectful towards you!  
\- The kid got you there Mew! Going back to the important topic here and what I consider to be the enormous elephant in the room, I know you are both grown adults, who can do whatever it is they like (even though there is a sense of power imbalance if we look into the fact that one of you is the defacto teacher while the other is a student) so I'll ask again. What's going on here?

Both knew they had to say something to make it be known that nothing nefarious was going on between them (even if feelings were beginning to grow!)

\- It's actually a funny story Miss.  
\- Max, how many times do I have to tell you to address me appropriately?  
\- Okay then, it's actually a funny story, former miss!  
\- You are an insufferable student Max, with all due respect of course.  
\- Some have said being insufferable is one of my best qualities. Well to make the story short, I work the graveyard shift at a convenience store, saw Mew a couple of hours ago, almost got our things stolen, fainted because I forgot to eat a proper damn meal, Mew offered me his couch for a couple of hours and now we are here because I found myself to be extremely hungry after not eating for what might be 12 hours.  
\- Wow.  
\- I know, my life is a full-on circus.  
\- I would say more of a tragedy.  
\- Oh, believe me, my life is a not-so-balanced line of circus and tragedy.  
\- You could say that again.- Both Jessica and Max were surprised by Mew's comment. For one, he hadn't spoken for quite a while, very much interested in his ham and cheese sandwich. Second, his comment seemed to be full of sadness and remorse.  
\- What do you mean Mew?- Max couldn't help to instantly connect his sentiment to that Gulf person he heard previously.  
\- Oh don't mind me, you both can carry on with your conversation.  
\- I should be off, the baby is starting to get kind of cranky. Max, please stay safe, don't make Mew go crazy in the classroom and manage to turn in your work.  
\- Can't make any promises.  
-And you Mew, let me know if this rascal or any others of my class and assholes.  
\- Sure will!

After a few more pleasantries, the former teacher left the table leaving the duo to be covered in a rather uncomfortable silence once more.

\- Are you full Max or would you want me to order something else to go?  
\- Another tea would be nice!  
\- Let me order it then.

Max saw the waiter again but he was rather smug that he did not try to flirt with Mew again. Do not get him wrong, it might seem childish but to him, it is rather embarrassing to see someone try so hard to get someone's attention and even more so when they are supposed to be doing a job!

\- Did you both sirs enjoy your meal?  
\- Very much so, we would like to get the bill though.- Max did not even permit Mew to open his mouth, of course, he did it so they would not waste any more time since it was very clear that Mew wanted to go. Mew on the other hand couldn't help but feel emotional since those little quirks of smugness and what some would say jealousy were ones that Gulf displayed while they were going through the workshops for the series.  
\- Here you guys go. I hope you both enjoyed it and that you come back again!  
\- Thanks.

After some light bantering as to who would pay the bill (Mew won that fight), they decided that it would be best to walk some of that food off so as not to feel the "grogginess/wanting to nap after the meal". Some walking to the park had Mew feeling the most relaxed he had been in a few days. His moment of peace wasn't to last long it seems.

\- Yo Mew, I have a question.  
\- It seems that you have a ton of those but go ahead.  
\- Did you leave anyone behind in Thailand? Before you answer with your family, I mean a friend or a partner.  
\- Why?  
\- What?  
\- Why that specific question?  
\- If I'm being honest, I feel you are a sad and lonely dude, no disrespect of course!  
\- I had a partner but it ended.  
\- Oh, what happened to them?  
\- Pass.  
\- Dude, don't leave me at a cliffhanger!  
\- It is not a show or a film, a cliffhanger doesn't apply.  
\- Well, then what about a friend?  
\- I had a few friends growing up.  
\- But there must have been someone that you considered to be your soulmate, platonic of course.  
\- I guess I had someone, don't know too much of them. Well what about you, any friends and/or partners?  
\- Well, my best friend is who I already told you about, her name is Isabel. I would consider her my platonic soulmate if I am being honest.  
\- That's so nice. Well, it seems it is getting somewhat late and I need to start getting ready for your next class.  
\- Ah of course, would you mind if we exchange numbers, that way I can give you pop culture recommendations you seem to lack.  
\- I am not sure if that's appropriate, to be honest.  
\- Dude, I slept on your couch, propriety left the chat a while ago.  
\- Let me think about it?  
\- Sure, you know where to find me.  
\- Let me call you an Uber!  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Please, I still feel guilty about what happened.

Once the Uber ride, they completed their goodbyes. Max continued to walk to his apartment and he couldn't help but feel full to the brim with complex emotions. On one hand, he wanted to leave his past behind but for some reason, he is feeling compelled to tell Max his whole life story, the good, the bad, and even the ugly/shameful parts. As he was walking he received a call from his mom.

\- Hey mom, how are you?  
\- I'm good, by the way, have you heard the news?  
\- What's wrong? Is everyone okay?  
\- Yeah everyone's okay! Oh crap, I need to go, your dad is giving Chopper bread again! I sent you a text with the link to the news article. Talk to you later hun.  
\- Oh okay, sure. Talk to you later I guess?

As soon as he ended the call, he received a text which was a link to a Thai entertainment news site. He felt terror fill his being. Once he opened the link, his eyes were automatically drawn to the title.

Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai is getting married to his longtime girlfriend and continuing his studies in the United States.

Mew needs a fucking drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a few days! So far I've been crying over soft films, drinking a ton of cream soda (I am somewhat embarrassed), and coming to the conclusion that the 1955's film Rebel Without A Cause is fucking cursed! If you haven't seen it, please do yourself a favor and go watch it! If you do, let me know your thoughts. Also if anyone has seen 2016's The Magnificent Seven and cries over the cowboy husbands like I do then please tell me so we can form a club. *cough have been reading a ton of Drarry fics cough*


	9. Chapter VIII: Mess

After a few crying sessions, eating some generous pints of ice cream, and watching some extremely sad movies, Mew managed to get a grip on himself. Not only did he realize that there was no point in him being affected by something that was not his business but he moved to another country to avoid any more bullshit so why would he let it ruin his life.

The weekend passed and it was now the first day of classes for him. He managed to get ready, eat breakfast, and be on his merry way all under an hour. When he walked into the campus he couldn't help but feel a sense of _déjà vu_. Would he see Max again? Is he prepared to see him again in a school environment? Right before he could go down the bad spiral, he noticed Jessica was calling his phone.

\- Hey Mew, how's everything going?

\- Right now I'm walking to the classroom and I have about 15 minutes before class starts. How's your baby treating you?

\- She's amazing because she hasn't kicked my bladder today and I've managed to eat something without feeling nauseated.

\- How many pints of ice cream did you eat?- Her silence was deafening and Mew knew that she more than she was allowed to.

\- Not that many!

\- Mhm, if you believe that then go off I guess.

\- Now I want to talk about you and Max's date thingy this past weekend.

\- You misunderstood the situation, Jessica.

\- So I didn't see you dating a former student of mine!?

\- It wasn't a date! I just helped him after a bad stituation.- At this point, Mew had reached his classroom and he wanted to make sure no one was around while having this conversation.

\- Mew, babe, I've known you for years and I've never seen you look at anyone like you were staring at him.

\- How the fuck was I starting at him according to you!?

\- Like you've been waiting for years to be near him. You looked at Max as if he was grating you peace and solitude for something that you were missing for your whole life.

\- Fuck Jessica, is it that bad!?- At this point, Mew knew that he had fucked up royally.

\- All I can say before I go is what I told you previously. You two are consenting adults but there is still a power imbalance between you two with you being his substitute teaching. Now if you want to just remain friends then you have nothing to worry about, but I saw how you were looking at him and how he was looking at you. Just be careful.

\- Thanks, I guess. I will try to stay away from him, outside of the classroom of course. After we ate he asked me for my number but I declined because I knew it was a bad idea. From now on I'll only be professional. Thank you for listening to me and I'll talk to you later.

If Mew had paid some attention he would have noticed that someone had heard his whole conversation.

\- So you can talk to my former teacher but you can't talk to me about something that inherently involves me? Make this shit make sense.

Mew couldn't help but jump from the shock.

\- Max how long have you been standing there!?

\- Long enough to ask myself who the hell hurt you this bad that you keep fucking up every chance I try of us to have a regular friendship.

\- I don't know what you are talking about.

\- Mew at least have the decency look at me in my eyes if you decide to lie to me.

Before they could continue their conversation other students started to enter the classroom. Sarah (the one student that Mew truly remembers because of her forward way of trying to "seduce" him) came to the front of the class and asked loudly.

\- Hi Mew, how was your weekend?

\- Professor.

\- Huh!?

\- In the classroom, I go by "professor".

\- But our former teacher told us we can simply call you Mew?- At this point, she was whining, extremely loud and she was calling the attention of the rest of the class.

\- Sarah, please go sit down and stop disrupting the class. For the rest of you, the same rule applies you can call me "teacher", "professor" or I'll even allow "prof". Now, I know that there are few weeks of this semester left, less than half if I'm being precise and everyone is tired. Your former teacher and I talked about how we could run this and she decided that you should not have to worry about attendance so you can be here if you want to complete the assignments and turn in a physical copy but it is not a requirement. The only times I will need you to hand in a physical copy will be when you turn in your final essay. The rest of the assignments can be turned in on the teacher/student portal and you'll get direct comments from your teacher. If you want to go, you are free to do so now. I'll be here during the times that the class meet up in case anyone wants to come in.

Before Mew could turn around and sit at the desk majority of the class had already left the room. Only Max, Isabel, two other students who were quietly working, and Mew remained.

\- Well, you guys can go ahead and work with whatever assignment you were working with last week. I'm here if you need me.

Before long, the class was over. Mew wasn't proud of himself but he will admit that when he saw Max standing up, he ran like a bat out of hell. He wasn't ready to talk about his possible emotions regarding a student.

-_-_-_-_-_-

Weeks passed and Mew kept avoiding Max. He could tell that his student was getting pissed by his avoidance, he would talk to Jessica and while she had the best intentions, she didn't really understand his dilemma. He would talk to his mom and pretend everything was okay, he would talk to Jom, and while she knew that he was going through something she couldn't force him to talk. After she told him about Tul's wedding (again) and he broke down crying she knew something bad was happening.

\- Mew, you need to talk to someone. You keep bottling all this shit up and it's not healthy!

\- Jom I am tired of all this shit, truthfully. I can't keep pretending everything is okay when it's not. I talk to mom and I feel horrible because I'm lying to her. I keep looking at my student and hoping that in some way he can act and talk like Gulf when I know that is never going to happen! I don't want to know anything about Tul ever again because not only was he the one who broke my heart and my trust but it also pains me that he can move on, while I am stuck in this vicious, neverending cycle of feeling like shit and the worst human on the planet!

\- I'm happy that you are finally opening up, brother. From what I hear you need to talk to this student of yours and make your boundaries clear. You left Thailand to leave all the bullshit behind so do that. Stop looking for gossip sites and I'll tell mom to now bring up any of your former friends/actors you worked with from now on.

\- I will try my best to be honest from now on and focus on my mental stability and happiness. Thank you, sis, for listening to me.

Mew knew that he needed to fix his mistakes and he will do it, as soon as the weekend is over and his next class reunites he will talk to Max and ask for forgiveness. One evening he was laying down half-asleep but he got rudely woken up by loud banging on his front door. He quickly went to open the door before his neighbors called the police.

\- Mew if you don't open this goddamn door I will break this shit!

\- Max, what the fuck are you doing here!?

\- When were you going to tell me that the only reason you even talked to me at first is that I reminded you of an actor buddy of yours!? Was I only a carbon copy, a lost spirit you wanted to make amends to!?- At this point, neighbors started coming out of their apartments, complaining and threatening they were going to call the police.

\- Max just come inside and we will talk.- Max did indeed go inside but he wasn't willing to sit down and kept passing from the living room to the kitchen.

\- Just so you can lie to me and say that I'm crazy!? I might not know much Thai but these English translations talking about your disappearance from the entertainment industry don't lie!

Mew couldn't avoid this shit for much longer.

\- Just show me the articles and I'll explain everything to you. Sometimes translations are not that accurate so let me help.

\- Here you go.

_Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong: The it (BL) actor_

-Max, when and where did you find this?

\- I just put your name on google and "Thai actor" followed it so I clicked. Everything was mostly in Thai but some blogs were written in English about you leaving the entertainment business, some controversy with a dude named Tul, and this name of Gulf appeared as well.

\- To make the story short, I used to be an actor in Thailand and this dude named Tul was my best friend/coworker/fling (at least I thought we had a thing). After some situations where I will admit I stepped out of line in terms of what he was comfortable and me thinking that we had everything figured out in terms of communication, he outed me via Instagram. I got blacklisted shortly after that, the one show I was supposed to star on with Gulf started getting bashed and I decided to walk away and leave that world behind. At that point, I already completed my doctorates degree and I simply moved here to Florida and started applying for positions that seemed to fit me best. Jessica has been my friend ever since I got here and I met her at a bar and she offered me the job recently of being a substitute teacher for her class.

\- What made this Gulf dude so important though? From what you told me you didn't get to work with him on that series since you walked off and left.

\- We met and work together months previous of ous starting the shooting process and the whole scandal breaking. He knew me and I knew him. I kind of told him I had a person and he never made pressing questions. At that point, I had been in the entertainment business for a while so he looked up to me.

\- Did you love him?

\- What?

\- You heard me, did you love him?

\- I don't think I did.

\- What about me?

\- What about you?- Mew knew where this was going and he really didn't want to get involved.

\- Did you just talk to me because according to you "I'm a carbon copy"? Are you asking for repentance for the fucked up shit you did!?

\- I truly don't know. I think at first I was shocked and saw you as a way to connect to a part of myself I had forgotten and erased yet when I got to know you I realized how different you are from him.

\- Well, I found this article but I truly don't know what it says but they posted pictures of him and the tweets seem to be extremely long.

\- Give me the link.

As soon as Mew opened the link, dread went on to fill his stomach.

_5 Years to the Disappearance of Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong: Where could he be?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Hope this chapter was to your liking. I must apologize for how long this took me to write and to publish. I'm starting college again soon and I would be lying if I said I was totally prepared and ready (honestly I'm scared shitless because I'm supposed to graduate this upcoming December but it's not 100% set in stone) so if updates take longer than usual that's why.
> 
> In other news, I found old fanfic of mine for the Korean drama School 2013 and I decided I am going to fix it up and publish it, guess what couple I'm doing? SO if you found another work of mine but there's like 13 words is because I was a clown that posted the synopsis without fixing the first chapter.


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